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What Next for Cigarette Packaging?

November 5, 2011

During the last ten or so years WARNINGS on fag packs have gradually become bolder and more graphic, each time eliciting just a brief quanta of notice from the brain dead, suck-witted, scarred lunged morons who buy them.

Yeah, I’m talking to you Smoky Jo.  ;)

The pause for thought doesn’t last long though and the idiots go right back to laughing off the obvious and well-known dangers, despite the pictures of black lungs and pregnant torsos. So, I ask both my fellow smug-ex-smokers of the world and the current batch of still smoking heartskipabeat deadbeats: what is the next step?

My idea is to borrow an old gimmick  from the world of greetings card manufacturers and have the pack make an unpleasant noise upon opening.

Maybe a slight throaty cough to begin with before moving on to a more bloodfleckedphlegm filled rasp as the pack gets lighter.

Perhaps as you get down to the last few ciggies the small speakers will play out the last rasping words of a genuine cancer patient as their final painful cracked breaths collapse out from their lips, followed by the hospital machinery’s uncaring tone of b’beep b’beep b’ beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…


Would that work? If you can read this it’s possible that someone has thiefed it from

Hey, you want a fag?

Yeah, sure. Thanks.

Cough cough

Actually, I’ll pass for now, ta.


From → Life/Death/Life

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